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“I feel like I’m carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.” We’ve probably all said some version of it. Usually we mean there’s too much going on. Too many responsibilities. Too many problems. Too many things demanding our attention at the same time. But I’ve been thinking about that phrase a little differently. How much of that weight is actually mine? Sometimes life feels heavy because life is heavy. There are responsibilities, decisions, problems and emotions that

Today I have my last therapy session. I've officially graduated. It's a strange thing to say. There's a tremendous amount of gratification in it, but there's also some uncertainty. Therapy has been part of my life for the last three and a half years. There's always been another appointment. Another conversation. Another place to bring whatever life was putting in front of me. After today, there isn't another appointment on the calendar. And that feels a little strange. I star

Lately, I've been waking up somewhere between 2:00 and 3:00 in the morning. And almost immediately, the Rolodex starts turning. Work. Home. Things I need to do. Things I can't forget. Something happening later today. Something I need to deal with tomorrow. My body is lying in bed at 2:30 in the morning, but my mind has already lived half the day. We've had a lot going on at home and with work lately, and I've noticed how quickly looking at everything in front of me can turn i

For a long time, I thought being in control of my emotions meant not having them. Don't get too angry. Don't get too anxious. Don't get too excited. Stay calm. Keep everything level. But that's not how life works. And I'm not sure that's how we're supposed to work either. We have emotions for a reason. They communicate something to us. They communicate something to others. They can organize us and motivate us to take action. The problem isn't that we feel. The problem begins

This morning started like most mornings. I was making Rita's coffee before she left for work. I grabbed a brand-new bottle of creamer and pulled the plastic tab that seals the bottle. Creamer immediately splashed onto the counter. Onto the coffee pot. Onto my hands. By the time I finished wiping everything down, I already had creamer everywhere. The bottle was still slick, but I figured I'd cleaned it off well enough. As I reached to put it back into the refrigerator... ...it

Most of us believe peace is something we'll find one day. When life slows down. When the bills are paid. When the kids are older. When work becomes less stressful. When our relationships become easier. We tell ourselves that peace is waiting somewhere just beyond our current circumstances. So we keep searching. There's an old story about a young monk who desperately wanted to learn how to meditate. Every time he sat down to practice, something interrupted him. People talking.

Every day, we make thousands of interpretations. Someone doesn't return our phone call. A coworker gives us a strange look. A friend cancels dinner. A spouse responds with only a few words. Before we realize it, our mind has already written the story. "They're upset with me." "I did something wrong." "They don't respect me." The interesting thing is that none of those are facts. They're perceptions. Perception is our first interpretation of an event. It's influenced by our pa

When people learn that I'm sober, they usually assume my story is about alcohol. They're right. But only partly. Alcohol is part of my story. It isn't the point of my story. I loved alcohol. Not just drinking it—I genuinely loved it. I loved craft beer. I loved visiting breweries. I loved talking about beer, tasting new beers, and sharing one with friends while watching football. For a long time, alcohol brought something positive into my life. That's what makes this story ho